Resentment and Anger

Throughout life we run into situations where we resent or are angry with someone who has done or said something to us; we are disappointed, feel betrayed or inadequate. I am writing this post, because I feel it is substantial to our growth and opportunity to live a positive life. Without dealing with these feelings, we can halt ourselves to becoming the best version we can be.

Anger

Anger is a present moment emotion. It is a reaction to an event or occurrence in a way that we don’t think it should. Whether or not we are right in our feelings, it is how we perceive a situation. Anger in fact is a healthy emotion and lets us see what goes beyond our boundaries we have within ourselves and others.

It can take place as a secondary emotion to guard or protect ourselves from the true emotion we are feeling at that time such as; hurt, betrayal, inadequacy, or fear. (ref. Psychology Today) When this happens it can be destructive internally and our energy transforms and grows into this anger.

Resentment

Resentment is an emotion based upon past circumstances related to anger. Resentment is a feeling of ill-will towards a person or situation that is either real or perceived in which we are still holding onto. When someone holds onto the anger, the extreme energy at the time dwindles, but the feelings are held so strongly internally that anything related to the situation could fire them up again.

Holding onto these feelings is a heavy burden to the person carrying the resentment. You end up becoming a slave to that person and carry those feelings with you everywhere you go. You cannot experience growth and change while holding onto it as it is always weighing you down. Your mental state of mind and emotions are bound to these feelings. You are giving control of your own feelings to someone else.

Ways to eliminate these heavy emotions and move forward with your life:

Step back and think about the underlying reason you’re feeling this way. Is it fear, vulnerability, or betrayal? It may be hard, but try to let yourself feel these emotions and become aware of the primary reason behind it.

Once you are aware of these emotions, practice being consciously aware and put a wall around your subconscious feelings so that they don’t take over the rest of your energy and mindset.

Think about how you played a part to this, and what you could have done differently to prevent a past or current situation from happening again.

Accept the situation. You cannot change what is, and by accepting it, you can move forward working on steps to continue with your life in a positive manner without dwelling on the past. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with it or like it. However, accepting it and moving forward will help with this draining and toxic emotion that can pull in every bad thing that happens to you and start a raging fire inside that cannot be put out.

Instead of getting worked up and feeling the negativity run through you, practice returning the feelings with grace and kindness to the situation at hand. Try to look at it from a 3rd party and observe how the flame can easily be put out with abundance of positivity and assurance.

Lastly, practice gratitude. One of the most important practices as a human being is the awareness of how we can be grateful for the good things and bad things that have happened in our lives. Without bad experiences in our lives we never are able to learn and grow. We don’t learn exactly what we want in life if everything goes right. You have to see what doesn’t go right in order to make yourself and the world around you purposefully centered by the people, places and things that make you your BEST self.

Be Grateful for the experience. Learn from it and know that without that relationship, that situation, that job, that boss… we wouldn’t know what we are okay with and what we are not okay with. It verifies us as a person and confirms our self-identity.

You cannot control your first thought that comes in your head. Though, you do have the ability to stop it and change your emotions when you become aware of the situation and how it is affecting you and what you have done to put the situation into play. Make that second thought the permanent and positive energetic vibe that will carry you to the next level of individual self-worth.